biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

dantes-infernal-chili:

Mr. Brightside

The Killers: Now they’re going to bed, and my stomach is sick, and it’s all in my head, but she’s touching his-

Parents: *angry collective glare*

The Killers: …chest

this was a revelation i was ill prepared for

(via fightscurvy)

106479

kiinkloren:

help

10903

missmoneyhenny:

focsle:

I was teaching kids today and they got fixated on the usual ‘are they dead now?’ question when I was talking about historical figures. So I was just like ‘Yes, they’re dead now, everyone who was alive in the 1800s is dead now.’ and then one kid was like ‘Except for you’.

I’m sorry to hear about your scalp.

(via vanilla-extraction)

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dayoldblacktreacle:

borbamena:

borbamena:

“what the fuck richard”, “way to go paul”, and “adam” are a very powerful trio of vines

a fourth, more aggressive vine: “PATRICIA”

how could you leave out “nice going, Ron”

(via fightscurvy)

215516

metalslugx:

cvberdemon:

metalslugx:

jallox:

retainerofvirgo:

snoopingasusualisee:

snoopingasusualisee:

list of characters that would be weirdly sexualized if they were made today

so we’re just gonna stop the list right tf there

looking through the comments and reblogs.. oh boy

there’s definitely more but I’m not sure I want to subject myself to that horror

hey quick question how come out of all the pictures you could’ve chosen for Bloo you had to pick the one from a hentai parody 

you recognized it

(via damn-funny)

348567

bikewheelr:

bikewheelr:

people who change their phone’s font to that squiggly one are not to be trusted

(via somewhereinthefog)

129551

dontbeanassbutt:

do you ever think about the impact “this bitch empty” girl?? Like she created a whole new verb that has a very specific meaning but pretty much all millennial and gen zs understand it. do you think she knows the scale of what she’s done??? because honestly what a legend

(via damn-funny)

109693

nunchuk:

wodneswynn:

god i wish i was writing cuneiform notes about my grains on clay tablets in ancient sumer right now

(via damn-funny)

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